How to get laid at the office holiday party without incurring a harassment suit. By Nina Christensen

While it’s a dreaded obligation to many, to the enterprising hookup artist, the office party is the perfect opportunity to chat up an office crush outside of work and perhaps even get frisky. You know the official stance on this: It’s a bad idea. But remember, that’s also what “experts” once said about sailing across the Atlantic. Or something.

Anyway, if you’ve got your mind set on flirtation, we’re here for you. We asked experts for their best tips on getting laid on company time.

The pregame
Steve Santagati, best-selling author of The Manual, suggests you pick out your object of desire well before the party and “plant seeds” by complimenting the person or stopping by their desk more often to “get in their head.” Show them an edgier side of you, appear a bit naughty and test the waters with comments like, “Would you report me to HR if I said [Insert naughty innuendo here]?” Santagati preaches caution, however, noting that “this sexual harassment bullshit has ruined all the fun at the workplace.”

The wardrobe
The next important step is picking out something to wear. Jessica Rozler and Andrea Lavinthal, authors of The Hookup Handbook: A Single Girl’s Guide to Living it Up, advise, “You want to look attractive and approachable, but not rent by the hour.” Thus, no “chin-high cleavage or exposed chest hair.” For women to get noticed, Rozler suggests some color or a great pair of shoes. Santagati, meanwhile, advises men that girls want to imagine a bad boy who might slap their ass or grab their hair in bed. Go for the “I don’t give a fuck look,” he says, “with an AC/DC T-shirt and a pair of jeans.”

The approach
“Redfox,” a financial adviser and noted hookup master at Edward Jones, recalls an infamous holiday party a few years ago where he and a coworker had sex on the boss’s desk. The two were griping about how much they hated their boss and agreed that having sex on his desk would be the perfect revenge. “We were two consenting adults united in the hatred for one man,” says Redfox. Look around and try to find a common agenda to unite you with your object of desire.

The gamble
The Sklar brothers, twin comedians who have appeared in Entourage and Curb Your Enthusiasm, suggest the following: “Take a tray of appetizers into the bathroom with the person. Don’t tell them why. Enjoy the appetizers and comment on how delicious and fun this little ‘picnic’ is turning out to be. Then as you’re leaving, explain that you’ve just illustrated how it can be fun to eat where you shit.” Humor is one of the best ways to a woman’s heart, and food to a man’s, so this advice works for both sexes.

The endgame
Don’t get discouraged if you’re striking out like A-Rod in October. “It’s all about endurance,” says Jerron Harris, an NYC bartender who has watched these holiday shindigs go down a million times. “The ‘square’ ones usually leave early and those remaining are the most willing to get rowdy.” Lavinthal encourages, “Stay strong! Wait it out with the stragglers and you’re guaranteed to go home with one of the last (and most intoxicated) people standing.” That’s a pep talk you won’t get from HR.

Noodles and views By Nina Christensen

Butala Emporium

John, the concierge at Hotel Giraffe (365 Park Ave South at 26th St, 212-685-7700), unsurprisingly recommends the inn’s own rooftop bar, Barna. Though it’s decked out with cheerful furniture and large potted plants, it’s overshadowed by the adjacent building. A cleaning lady at Giraffe admits to preferring Tonic East (411 Third Ave at 29th St, 212-683-7090). While it may look like it belongs in Times Square (where its sibling bar is), the aerie provides a breeze and a decent view of the Empire State Building.

Smoking a cigarette outside Tonic East, Craig, who lives on 23rd Street, says he loves Thai NY (394 Third Ave at 28th St, 212-696-2888). “They have the best vegetarian duck,” he says. The sleek, jewel-toned restaurant offers a wide selection of authentic noodle, curry and stir-fry dishes containing both faux and real flesh.

Raika, in midtwirl of her pad thai, credits her colorful bangles to Eastern import store Butala Emporium (108 E 28th St at Park Ave South, 212-684-4447), which sells about two dozen bracelets for $16, as well as bindis, pendants, yoga books, cookbooks, furniture and Indian art.

Try the Snow Mosquito! By Nina Christensen

Local cyclers and neighborhood enthusiasts Chris and Alex are all about the tapas at Olea (171 Lafayette Ave at Adelphi St, Fort Greene, Brooklyn; 718-643-7003), where white stucco walls, terra-cotta tiles and indoor palm trees evoke the Greek Isles. “This is the place to be,” Chris says.

Lauren, a server at Olea, regularly hits unmarked speakeasy The Hideout (266 Adelphi St at DeKalb Ave, 718-855-3010) for unusual after-work drinks. Make it past the entry (a pair of eyes size you up through a slot in the metal door) and be rewarded with concoctions like the Snow Mosquito, made with vodka, mint, blueberries and club soda.

Incongruously, a bartender at the Hideout has a soft spot for the cheerful, solar-run Habana Outpost (757 Fulton St at South Portland Ave, 718-858-9500), where you can make your own smoothie on the stationary-bike-powered blender. Moodier types should go to local Noah’s pick: the Brooklyn Masonic Temple (317 Clermont Ave at Lafayette Ave, 718-638-1256), a dark, soaring space that’s been known to host a wedding one day and a metal concert the next.