This guy is hilarious. He would hate me.
Dating
The weather was hot and humid last week in NYC. I tried to get some work done at home but my bedroom felt like a sweat box. Even poor little Gus was so hot he was laying around the house on his back, legs spread open, trying to cool his cat balls. I made a goal that I would find a boyfriend with an air-conditioned apartment for the summer. : )
Friday night, I just couldn’t take it anymore, I needed to get out of the apartment. I went for an hour bike ride around Astoria Park and then jogged for another hour. I just couldn’t stop. Maybe I was trying to run away from the thoughts that have been troubling me. Or maybe I was trotting the extra lap to get another look at the hot guy that was jogging in the other direction. I sat and watched the sunset over the water and Manhattan skyline and felt momentarily happy as I was surrounded by all of the characters that make NY home. There was a man on a unicycle who actually fell off when he looked up at me. (I’d like to think he was distracted by my beauty).
I got home and ordered sushi and watched 20/20 with my roommate. (Such a glamorous life!). Saturday night, I was excited to have Bionic Woman spending the night at my apartment. I just love slumber parties! We headed out to a local bar where my former roommate also came to meet and just spent the night drinking and laughing. You know it’s a good night when the bar breaks out in an impromptu limbo game improvising the limbo stick with a mop. After the bar the 3 of us headed back to my apartment for a sleepover. Bionic Woman made me laugh so hard that I fell in the street and scraped my elbow.
When we got back to my place, Bionic Woman and Mr. Bello grabbed cupcakes (from my birthday! I warned them that it probably wasn’t still good but they wouldn’t listen) and beers and we headed up to my rooftop. There was a cool breeze blowing and the sun was coming up…I coulda stayed up there forever. Except I was cold and sleepy so I came back downstairs and rolled out my yoga mat (only my 2nd time using the mat and it wasn’t for exercise) and went to sleep.
Sunday morning, we woke up, sweating (!), showered, and headed off to a yummy brunch with scrambled eggs, oatmeal martinis, and pickleback shots. I was stumbling out of the bar and headed to McCarren Park in Brooklyn for the Renegade Crafts Fair. There were so many beautiful jewelry, clothing, and artwork but everything was a little pricey and I couldn’t decide what I wanted so I didn’t buy anything. All I got was this cute photo of Bionic Woman. haha.
I was exhausted from a late night and walking around all day that I needed to get home to squeeze in a nap. I was supposed to meet TA for a so called date at 8PM. I ordered some chinese take out and napped while my roommate watched 21 Jumpstreet (random right?). When I woke up, I still hadn’t heard from TA, so I assumed he was flaking, as usual. Though I’m not surprised, I am disappointed in him, but I was relieved to be able to stay in and rest. The temperature had cooled down after the rain and I grabbed a blanket and watched Avatar (finally) with my roommate. What a great ending to a really fun weekend.
PS- I loved Avatar by the way. The animation was amazing and Sam Worthington is totes the hottest. The scene where they were praying at the Holy Tree with their glowing painted bodies reminded me of being at the Full Moon parties in Thailand. haha.
I had been feeling low after The Boy ended things with me 2 weeks ago. Rejection is never easy. I wondered what is wrong with me. Why can’t I make a relationship work? I beat myself up over the things that I did. I shouldn’t have said this. I shouldn’t have done that. What really kills me is the silence. One day this person just drops out of your life, not another word to be said.
I miss him.
But as the silence continues, I am growing angry. Mostly at myself. I’m a very laid back person. Very low maintenance. I don’t ask for much in anyone. I wondered how the women who are much more demanding get all the guys. And then a lightbulb went off in my head. That’s exactly what my problem is. I don’t ask anything of anyone. I don’t expect anything in return. I assumed that since I didn’t want a relationship I couldn’t ask for much.
I realize that, regardless, I should’ve expected to be treated well.
Rejection tends to leave your ego a bit bruised. I’ve been feeling a bit low since The Boy and I can’t seem to get myself out of it. My friends have been wonderful, telling me I deserve better, but it’s just words lost on deaf ears if I don’t believe it myself. I saw this poster online and thought, this is how I should be feeling everyday.
I was watching Oprah today (I’m unemployed, I watch a LOT of Oprah) and Julia Roberts was on the show talking about Eat, Pray, Love, the movie, that’s coming out in August. I’m so excited to see this movie. I remember when I read the book I was in a toxic relationship quite similar to the one the author, Liz Gilbert, was in with David. I remember crying and crying after I reading that she finally walked away from that relationship because I knew I had to do the same with mine. This book really hit a spot with me because it speaks to everyone who’s ever been through a heart break, given up on love, or forgotten who they were.
So on the show, Oprah asks each of the cast members where is their Eat, Pray, and Love place. James Franco who plays David answered California for all 3 because his favorite sandwich shop is there, his family who are his prayers, and his girlfriend. While watching the show I wondered what was my Eat, Pray, Love?
I thought definitely my favorite food in the world is Thai Food and there’s nothing better than street food in Bangkok. There’s too many dishes to pick from but a childhood favorite that I can rarely find in the states is Kao Mun Gai, chicken rice. And I have some strange addiction to eggs in every form. The other day I have half a dozen (in one day!). Gotta get my cholesterol checked for sure.
I do almost all of my praying when I am in Thailand as well. I don’t know many temples here in NYC and I feel out of touch with the religion because I don’t really know many other Buddhists. Because the country is majority Buddhist I feel much more in touch with my religion and have much more access to temples when I am in Thailand.
For some reason, I tend to fall in “love” every time I am back in Thailand. Perhaps it’s the romantic beaches, or the gorgeous foreign men, or the fact that I let my guard down when I’m on holiday but I always leave there with fond memories of a tan, shirtless man sipping mango shakes with me on the beach. Mmm. Also, when I eventually meet someone, Thailand is where I’d like to get married.
So, like James Franco, my Eat, Pray, Love can all be found in the same place. Perhaps I should be booking a ticket back?
What and where is your Eat, Pray, Love?